I've been divorced since 2012, I've been firmly single all but about a year of that. I have been on countless dates. I mean I could've counted them but that would be depressing as fuck. "I've been in 213 dates and I'm still single." 213 is a guess, a number I pulled from between my buttcheeks. This shit is not what I expected. It is not what the movies and tv told me being single would be like.
My expectations after my divorce went something like this.
I'd be single for a year or two then I'd meet someone new. She'd love my kids and we'd fall madly in love. I'd get remarried and start over again.
That has not been my experience, 213 dates later.
I keep plugging along, asking girls out, going on dates. Continually failing to meet the expectations of the women I'm dating. ADD is alive and well in the dating pool. I don't do this and I should've know I was supposed too. I did that and I should've known that wasn't ok. I trudge through awkward getting to know each other faze hoping I don't fuck this one up. I do though, I always do. Today finding someone is apparently easier for everyone else than it is for me. If I fail to meet a prerequisite, they're done. Sometimes they will give me a 20 minute lecture on how I dated them wrong before they are gone. That's a good time.
To quote Danny Glovers character in Lethal Weapon "I'm to old for this shit." When I was 20 I didn't like the game. I don't feel at 41 I should have to play it anymore. I want romance and friendship. I want a genuine partnership. I feel like this may have become a thing of myth and legend. In the books I love and escape to I would go on a quest and rescue the maiden and live happily ever after. In Beaumont, Texas I just keep swiping right and taking my lumps.
The one who cares the least wins.
You win