I've never been "normal." I've never felt that pull to file in line behind everyone else. I've never fit in.
My parents gave me a gift as a child growin up in a small town in East Texas. The gift of not giving a shit what others think of me. Tho I believe they did it without knowing it. When I came home with my ears pierced and a tattoo at 17 my dad's response was "you look queer." When I went through my Gangster Rap phase (I might still be experiencing this) he just turned it off when he rode in my truck. He didn't make me feel bad about the way I dressed, the music I listened too, or the strange things I did to my hair. It was OK for me to love these things, he just wasn't interested. Don't get me wrong he goofed on me for them, but I never felt like I had done something wrong.
My Mom on the other hand would tell me exactly what she thought of my current style but when it came down to it she never forced the issue.
I believe at 17 if I had decided to become a Gay Pirate that I could have.
Dad: Stop parking your ship in the yard. I'm not feeding that damn parrot! (He totally would have fed the parrot though)
Mom: Do you know how hard it is to get paid to be a gay pirate? Do you? I wish you would stop wearing that eye patch.
Completely on accident they gave me the gift of not giving a fuck of what you thought of me.
They expressed their ideas but they never forced me to change. There were no "cut your hair or get out of my house" handed down. Ever
They didn't have to be on board to love me, they didn't have to agree with me to love me. They still do this (I still have earrings).
Today I have two kids of my own, not dissimilar to the way I grew up I have a boy and a girl two years apart. I truly believe this is a legacy I am passing down to them. Not a legacy of tolerance, you don't tolerate something you love, but a legacy of acceptance. You can't force other people to agree with you. You can't force people to see things the way you do. You can't make them walk a mile in your shoes. We all come from different places, we've had different experiences, we are all different people.
I don't need anyone to agree with me. I can listen to what you say and think it's the dumbest thing ever, and still be your friend. There is too much anger in the world. Too many people who feel the need to fit everything in this nice and tidy box. Fuck that box, you don't get a say in how I believe, as much as I don't get one for you.
Gay? Whatevs
Republican? Whatevs
Wiccan? Whatevs
Think you can fly? I know a good shrink
Wanna go fishing? I'm in! Unless it's freshwater then pffft.
Life is too short to go about mad at things you have no control over.
I hope my children know that they can be themselves without ever fearing retribution from me. Society will not give them the same respect but I hope I can help them to be strong enough to hold both middle fingers up to the world. "This is me, what the fuck you gonna do about it?"