Being successful was something that was always just out of reach for me. Sure I've had jobs where I made a ton of money and I've had jobs that made me deliriously happy. I've never felt successful tho, until recently.
For so long I equated being successful to how many of the almighty dollars I could gather at one time. A bigger house (in the right neighborhood of course), a nicer car, a bigger tv, the newest phone, these things mattered. What you thought of me and my things mattered. I needed more, more of everything. I am an American and I wanted that dream.
Or I did.
My wife one day decided she didn't want to be roommates anymore and moved in with a guy from work. The most successful romantic relationship I had ever had was an unmitigated failure. In that instant my life changed. Was it for the better or worse? It's all about perspective. If you had asked me ten years ago what my definition of success was you would have gotten a much different answer than I would give you today.
Now don't get it twisted, I would love a big house in a swanky neighborhood with an Italian car parked in the driveway. A bank account I couldn't exhaust and a Centerfold to come home too. These aren't realistic goals for me, not anymore. They don't line up with my newfound view of success. For this I am eternally grateful to that woman who gave me two children and walked out of my life. Without her and things I went through with her I couldn't be where and who I am today.
Today (and today is all I am promised) my success is very tangible. My success does not require a $.
Success is
Success is
Success is
Success is
Success is
Success is
Success is having the ability to go to a job I hate everyday because it is what I have to do to make those other things possible. Success is doing the right thing even when it makes me miserable. Success is a kiss from a pretty girl. Success is fixing things myself. Success is having people in my life who add value.
I no longer measure my success by society's preconceived notion of who and where I should be at this point in my life. I am out of fucks to be given
I lost them all in the divorce.
"I lost them all in the divorce" was where this ended originally. As per my usual MO I sent this to a dear friend to proofread and give their opinion before I assaulted my readers with it. This was the response I received and it was too perfect to not include. Thank you to The One Who Shall Not Be Named, your friendship and guidance have made me a better writer and a better person.